A friend recently asked me if I was afraid of what’s next.
To be honest, that thought lingers in the background sometimes. So I paused and asked myself… am I afraid?

Sure, I can feel afraid of not knowing what’s next—but I can also feel excited.
There’s uncertainty, yes. But there’s also possibility.

If I’m totally honest, the overriding emotion isn’t fear of the unknown.
It’s fear of missing out.

I’m at that stage in life where I’ve lost friends. I watch my parents slowing down—doing less, unable to do what they once could.

And I keep thinking back to something I said as a teenager:
“I don’t want to be sitting in a rocking chair one day saying, ‘I wish I had…’”

And now, in this chapter of life, when someone suggests something different, something unknown, I find myself answering more and more often with two simple, seemingly offhand words… but they are in fact incredibly empowering:

Why not?

It’s become my mantra. Not because I’m fearless. But because I’ve become the kind of woman who doesn’t wait.
I want to soak it all up. Experience it all. Every day.
Even on the simplest days, in my everyday ‘home’ routine, I want to say yes more.

Over the past 18 months, I’ve said “Why not?” to a lot of things:

• Scrambling along the edge of a cliff
  • Riding in a rickshaw with a young driver on a remote Sri Lankan island
  • Floating 2,000m above Vietnam in a swinging gondola
  • Climbing a rock formation in Sri Lanka at 5 a.m. to catch the sunrise
  • Hiring a car solo in Borneo and exploring
  • Gliding across a lake in a simple dugout canoe, looking for wild elephants

I’ve always had this streak in me—to seek something different.
But on reflection, I feel that motherhood and responsibilities dimmed it a little…
Not in a way I judge—but in a way I now recognise.

I got comfortable. And comfort, while lovely, can also be a bit of a trap.

We say:
“One day.”
“Maybe later.”
“Not for me.”
“I’m not brave enough.”

And all the while, our dreams sit dormant, written in our journal, popping up in our daydreams in difficult times when we want to escape the familiarity of our routine. That glimpse is there… we know, but are often too scared to really look at it.

Then midlife hits.
And menopause—not just the anxiety, hot flushes or hormonal shifts, but the whole seismic shift it brings.

Psychologists have found that midlife can spark significant personal growth.
(Gross, 2025)

This aligns with what so many of us are feeling—a profound identity shift that we finally begin to realise and accept. And I found that started to manifest in my energy and desire to say ‘why not’!

Want to go to Morocco?
Why not. (Spoiler: I am, in two weeks.)

This isn’t about recklessness. It’s about readiness.
It’s about saying yes to the quiet voice inside that says it’s time… time for you, on your terms.
Your chapter—as written wholly and unapologetically by you.

The Midlife Butterfly Effect

Menopause is huge… it is a rite of passage.

This is why I use the metaphor of the Midlife Butterfly.
It’s at the point we go into the cocoon stage—everything softens, reshapes.

We emerge stronger, clearer, more ourselves than we’ve ever been.
A metamorphosis.
A return to ourselves.

In a recent study, women described this phase as a time of liberation... and renewed purpose.
(Opayemi, 2025)

And research supports what you may already feel: that midlife and menopause mark a turning point—a space where new identities can emerge.
Identities full of wisdom, independence, and opportunity.

It’s not something to ‘fix’ but something to move through.
It’s our emotional awakening.

But I think many of us already know that deep down.
So this post? It’s your nudge. Your invitation.

What have you been dreaming of trying?

• Why not finally say yes to something just for you?
  • Why not swap “I’m too old” for “I’ve never been more ready”?
  • Why not book the solo trip you’ve always dreamed of?

Your permission slip is already in your hands.
You wrote it without even knowing that it was there waiting for you.

What’s been calling you from the back of your mind?
And… why not?

✨ Try This: 4 Ways to Say "Why Not?" This Month

(Even if you're not into journaling—yet)

You don’t need to buy a fancy notebook (unless you want to).
Choose a way that suits you: a list on your phone, a voice note, a shared commitment with a friend, or a page in your diary.

The key is to track it somewhere that won't disappear in the washing machine!

Set yourself 4 little "Why Not?" moments this month. Just one per week.
Keep it light.
Keep it real.
And most of all—keep it for you.

1. Name One New Possibility

Think of one thing that excites you just enough to scare you a little.
It doesn’t have to be wild—try a new dish, join a local event, or message that person you've been thinking about contacting but were hesitating…

“Why not... try something that shakes me up?”
📲 Tip: Revisit your notes on Friday.

2. Do One Brave Thing Alone

Don’t worry—nothing crazy required! (Although if that’s what you’re feeling… go with it!)

This week, try going for a coffee solo, seeing a film alone, or walking somewhere new without headphones so you can say hi, interact.

“Why not... be with myself and enjoy every moment of my intention to serve my own happiness?”

Going solo in public is a powerful way to build your confidence. Start small.

3. Challenge One Limiting Thought

Write down something that’s holding you back:
e.g. “I’m too old to…”

OLD THOUGHT → NEW POSSIBILITY
“I’m not good at planning” → “I’m learning to take small steps toward planning.”

4. Make It Real — Say It Out Loud

Tell a friend, text a sibling, or post it on your social media:
“I’ve decided to try ___ this month. Why not?”

Ask them to check in with you.
Say it aloud and it becomes a commitment—not just a wish.

🌙 Bonus: Your Friday 5-Minute Reflection

Set a weekly reminder:
• What did I say ‘why not’ to this week?
• How did it feel in my body?
• Do I want more of that?

Whether you write it, speak it, or just feel it—let that awareness build momentum.

📚 Citations

• Gross, M. (2025). Psychological Shifts in Midlife Women: Identity, Confidence, and Clarity.
  • Opayemi, L. (2025). The Midlife Awakening: Liberation and Self-Authority in Menopause.