⏱️ 6-7 minute read

Midlife is such an interesting space to arrive into. Like a sunrise that suddenly pops up, there you are. Fifty. Or maybe before. Or maybe after.

For me, menopause waved like a checkered flag at an F1 race. Not signalling the end, but a pivotal point in life. I felt exhausted, drained, and a little lost, wondering how to navigate the road ahead.

And yet, as disorienting as it was at first, midlife has also brought an unexpected gift.

I've slowed down and developed a growing awareness.

Of myself, of others, of nature, of life itself. And ultimately, of what is serving me now, and what is no longer doing so.

I started noticing the little things. What made me smile. What induced anxiety. What depleted my energy. What brought happiness. Things I hadn’t noticed before began to come into focus.

And with that noticing came a different understanding. That I was ready for change, but not one that meant burning my life down.

In my twenties and thirties, it was all about chasing. Adventures, connections, thrills, careers. An almost entirely external experience where everything was about building, striving, accumulating.

Those earlier years weren’t unhappy. Not at all. They were just different. Different decades carry different purposes.

Now, I find myself noticing birds, trees, and quiet spaces. Enjoying stillness. Wanting a very different pace to my life.

The truth is, even though I did choose to make big changes, it wasn't about escape. It was to reshape my life so it aligned with where I am now. To slow down. To re-craft. 

Midlife offers a very different invitation.

Noticing IS the Process, Not the Problem

When you begin to notice that enjoyment, peace, and satisfaction come from different places, it doesn’t mean something is wrong. I believe it means you are listening and paying attention to yourself.

I’ve become far more reflective about my life, and that reflection has brought clarity. It has helped me re-orient myself to this version of me. I notice that I’m still tolerant, but I’m also far clearer about my boundaries. I notice when my social battery is depleted, and I listen to that without guilt. I decline invitations without discomfort.

I’m giving myself what I need.

I remember noticing this clearly while I was in Borneo. I wasn’t rushing anywhere. I was walking slowly through the forest and gardens, even when it rained. I didn’t mind. I could smell the earth, sit under the canopy of trees, watch the birds and just be there. My body felt calm, light, and free in a way that surprised me. I wasn’t trying to relax. I simply was.

In other words, nothing is wrong. Far from it. This is a normal process for midlife women.

Noticing is not a negative. It’s an invitation.

Menopause, the Body, and Honest Reassessment

Menopause and midlife mark a huge transition in our journey as women. I knew very little about it prior, other than the vague cultural messaging that it was something negative. Something to fear or endure.

Yes, the physical changes were noticeable. But it’s the mental and emotional shifts that have been the most powerful.

I am slowing down, and I’m not ashamed of that. In fact, I’m relishing it. I listen to my body now. I rest when I’m tired. I enjoy an afternoon nana nap without feeling like I’m “getting old”. It’s a reset. A nervous system recharge. Something I also find through walking, yoga, and meditation.

I’ve tuned into foods my body no longer wants or tolerates. It’s been surprising and frustrating at times, but it’s also made me far more attentive to what actually works for me now. My son noticed my portion sizes shrinking before I did.

Research around menopause discusses this phase not just as a physical transition, but as an identity one. Many women experience increased reflection, changing limits, and a need for a slower pace.

This midlife phase asks us to be honest with ourselves. That can be uncomfortable. And it can also be clarifying.

Desire Is Information, Not an Instruction

With heightened awareness, we begin to feel a desire for something different. It’s not telling us to act immediately, more a quiet whisper from the body saying, 'pay attention'.

Over the past three years, and through this midlife transition, everything has unfolded slowly. Even when unexpected events arose, I noticed I didn’t react as I once might have. I was calmer. More measured. More able to hear my inner voice. Less reactive. More present.

I noticed this clearly in North India. I was queuing to visit a palace I’d wanted to see, but the crowds were overwhelming. My body knew immediately that it wasn’t right for me. I stepped out of the queue and walked away. The relief was immediate. I hadn’t forced myself to do something just because it was on a list. I listened.

I’m aware that from the outside, my life looks like it was completely upended. And in very practical terms, it was. I left. I travelled. I changed how and where I lived.

But the decision itself didn’t come from fear or panic. It didn’t come from wanting to run away from my life. It came from a long period of noticing. Of slowing down. Of listening to what my body, my energy, and my inner voice had been telling me for some time.

Integration Over Escape

This entire process has been about noticing and integrating what works now, and letting go of what doesn’t.

Walking is non-negotiable. If not walking, then yoga. Journalling comes and goes, and I don’t judge myself for that. I say no when I feel empty or when something doesn’t fit. I value time alone almost reverently.

Yes, I’ve changed my work, and yes, that comes with financial implications. But I’m no longer willing to compromise my health or the time I have left in this life by living in constant stress.

Research tells us that walking and outdoor experiences can often lead to mental and emotional clarity and a closer connection to self. Whether it’s a holiday or a daily walk outdoors, many of us return with a clearer mind.

We all change at different paces. Some changes happen quietly on the inside. Others are more visible on the outside. What matters is that change comes from being patient and listening to ourselves, not from running or seeking escape from where we are.

Taking it slower now, like the tortoise, and no longer being the hare in our story.

Travel as a Mirror, Not a Solution

Travel gifts us an intentional break from routine. Choosing where to go, why, and for how long becomes a conscious act. Stepping away from the familiar opens up room to truly notice.

Travel exposes us to different ways of living. It offers perspective on what we already have, and sometimes on what we no longer need. Research into reflective travel links these experiences to increased life satisfaction and wellbeing.

Travel doesn’t give us answers. It acts as a mirror, reflecting back the different paths available to us, paths we can choose with intention.

What matters is what we bring home. What we choose to integrate. And, what we leave behind.

Midlife travel feels different to travelling when younger. We’re slower. More observant. More open. There’s also an anonymity that allows us to be ourselves more fully.

Travelling with other women at this stage of life adds another layer. The friendships are honest. The conversations richer. The wisdom shared is extraordinary. It reminds us that we are not alone.

Community, Companionship, and Shared Wisdom

Midlife asks us to reconnect in new ways. To find our tribe who are also navigating this stage. Being seen and heard grounds us, and seeking new friendships keeps us open and curious.

Being with our tribe and sharing wisdom reminds us that what we’re experiencing isn’t unusual. It’s all part of our human experience.

If you recognise these shifts happening within you, treat yourself with kindness. Meet yourself right where you are. Listen to what’s emerging.

This is your time to slow down and set your own pace, in alignment with where you are at. To step into the Midlife Queen you are.