There’s a moment in midlife where everything begins to shift — but not all at once.

For me, it started quietly. I thought I was just tired. I didn’t want to go out anymore. I made excuses, like “I’m just not feeling it,” or “I need a night in.” But underneath the tiredness was something I was trying to ignore — I was beginning to unravel in a way that I hadn’t experienced before.

The truth is, midlife was trying to speak to me. It still is. And if you’re here, reading this, maybe it’s speaking to you too.

Here are 5 signs I’ve experienced — and that many women share — that midlife is asking us to stop, listen, show ourselves love, and begin again.

1. You don’t recognise yourself anymore.

There was a time I would forget names, lose focus, feel detached. Looking in the mirror, I didn’t see me. I was working hard, showing up every day, keeping busy (probably too busy in hindsight) — but something had changed and I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I felt depleted. Foggy. I just didn’t recognise myself anymore.

Before that, I felt so in control of my world — myself. But slowly, things shifted. I felt less grounded in who I was and more like I was just performing the roles I’d always carried because, well... I had to. It’s an odd feeling, almost a kind of loss, when you start to feel like a stranger to yourself.
Who are you now?

2. You crave stillness… and it unnerves you.

The loud life became a whole lot less appealing. I didn’t want to drink really, as the hangovers were killer — but really, it was that I felt socially anxious. I found also that I was seeking deeper, more meaningful conversations — not surface-level ones.

I began seeking quiet: slow walks, early mornings, early to bed, spa baths, weekend fruit markets, going on hikes into the forest. Being alone with myself wasn’t easy at first. But it felt necessary. I needed the nature and the gentle stillness that felt safe, grounded.

I had always been social — always someone who gathered people around. So when I started saying no, even to the people I loved, I didn’t know what that said about me. But the truth was, I needed this quiet time — this space to hear myself again.

3. Your mood is unpredictable. You’re more anxious.

With my midlife shift came anxiety — with my job and with myself. I took up a Yoga Philosophy and Teacher Training course to understand more deeply my personal practice. It was with a Hare Krishna–affiliated organisation. Those chants became a bit of a godsend, to be honest. I began singing them in the car, on the way to work and on the way home, just to stay grounded.

Exercise became another tool for grounding myself, and I began meditating more consistently — every morning. It wasn’t just stress — it was my body and soul saying: enough. Something had to change. Time to listen to me. To go inward.

There was a deep sensitivity that took over. I cried more. I retreated. And for someone who had always been “strong,” it was bewildering to find myself full of self-doubt, feeling stressed about the smallest of things. But this process — this shift — also made me more honest. More real.
I had to be with myself. I had to listen to myself — to my body, my mind, and my emotions.

4. You feel your body shifting in mysterious ways.

As I moved through perimenopause, I resisted it. I even said out loud, “I’m not doing this.” I honestly thought that I could ‘think’ my way through it… but it arrived anyway — gentle hot flushes (luckily they weren’t too bad), aches and pains in my hands and hips, physical changes I didn’t recognise — my hair, my skin.

It was uncomfortable. But it also felt like an important message:
Come back to your body. Honor your body. Appreciate it. Don’t take it for granted.

I started shifting my lifestyle without even meaning to. I became vegetarian again — I had been in my 20s. My diet became cleaner. I became much more hyper-focused on what I was putting into my body. I also found now that certain foods just didn’t digest as well. Goodbye bread, basically!!

I preferred to eat early and found I wasn’t eating as much. My plate size shrank. It was my son who noticed first, actually.

This was not a totally disciplined regime of changes, and nor were they ‘guided’… I was just listening to my body. If I didn’t listen, then I knew I would feel uncomfortable.

5. You find yourself remembering a version of you that felt more alive.

Off on my solo travels — about seven weeks into my trip — I was standing by the river in Hampi, India. I felt something powerful rise in me, like a wave of emotion. I had first been there at 21.

Now, at 50, I was sitting quietly, watching the women washing their laundry in the river. There were a couple of sadhus meditating, kids running barefoot.
And I felt her — the younger me: curious, brave, socially free. The one who lived outside societal expectations.

I realised I wasn’t reinventing myself.
I was returning to me.
And midlife was the map that led me back.

The Reset Begins When You Start Listening

If any of these signs feel familiar… you’re not broken. You’re being asked to begin again.
And not with hustle or reinvention — but with honesty, slowness, and soul.

Midlife may feel like an ending — it’s not.
It’s a metamorphosis, a rite of passage, a rebirth.
And if you’re listening… it’s your invitation to return to you.